Beauty

I have been wanting to talk about beauty for a while now and after the post the other day about Little A and being beautiful, I pushed this along a little. 

(Post found here.)

This has been on my mind from the beginning of starting this blog. It is a main part of pursuing the Proverbs 31 kind of life. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done, 

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

Proverbs 31:30-31

Our society values beauty. It holds it in high esteem. It shows us that it is something that is to be longed for and pursued. That beauty can get you places in life and that without it you will fall short on many levels. 

Everywhere we look we are bombarded with what the world sees as beautiful. It is plastered everywhere we look and is talked and sang about nearly just as much. 

We all know the damaging effects of societies view of beauty. I think that it is the enemies number one attack against women. And all too often we fall into the trap with such ease. 

The Lord tells us time and time again how much He adores us. How He created us in his image, how we are made for a purpose, and made how we are meant to be. 

The bible also tells us that we should find our beauty from what is in us. 

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Being that I recently had a baby I have really been struggling with finding beauty in the way that I look.  It really is hard to look in the mirror and say, "wow, I look good today" when your hair is a mess, your shoulders are covered in vomit and nothing fits the way that it used to. 

Not that it was any easier doing that before I got pregnant, or while I was pregnant.  Honestly, I could probably count on both hands the number of times that I looked in the mirror and truly felt beautiful (the way the world sees beauty). 

one of the many horrible looking faces I often ruin pictures with

When I got married, my parents tried to put together a slideshow of hubby and I as we grew up and then of the two of us while we were dating and engaged. Apparently, they had a horrible time finding nice pictures of me because most of them were of me making a stupid face. Somewhere around 14 I started making faces in photos. I got it into my head that I was going to hate how the picture looked anyway so I might as well just make it a purposefully bad photo. 

There was one day that really stands out, from my pregnancy with Little E, when I felt particularly horrible.(I have shared about this day before)  I hadn't gained nearly as much weight as I had with my first, but I still felt like a bus. My hair was doing crazy things because of my hormones, my legs were starting to swell and I just really felt horrible overall. We were trying to head to church, we were running behind (of course), and I could not find a single thing that fit me well. Finally I threw something on, felt horrible in it, and didn't even bother with makeup or much more than running a comb through my hair. 

As we were driving to church I rolled my eyes as hubby said that I looked nice and that the outfit fit well. I looked at my reflection in the car mirror and started to tear up as I tried to fix my crazy mess of hair. 

After church, hubbies grandparents took us out for lunch. I was hesitant to go because lets be honest, the less people we saw the better and my legs were throbbing.  As we sat and enjoyed lunch with his wonderful grandparents some people from church were being led to a table nearby. A lovely, kind and truly beautiful ( inside and out) woman, Karen, stopped to talk to me about my pregnancy and to tell me how amazing I looked. She couldnt believe I was as far along in the pregnancy as I was and she thought I was glowing, she sat down at her table and continued to comment about how great I looked. 

I almost broke down right there.  My face turned an Elmo color of red and I was in shock. It was so hard to take her compliments, they were so real and heartfelt but they were completely the opposite of how I had felt about myself all day. 

There are many times that I can remember from this last week alone, that hubby has told me I am beautiful. I know that he appreciates how I look and who I am as a person. 

But when he says it something t inside me yells, "no your not" or "how can he really think that, hasn't he seen your love handles(or whatever other body part is upsetting me at the time)"

That voice that I hear is not a voice of my own. It has been there for a long time. So long that I now hear it as my own voice and ignore the fact that it is not my own. The lies of the enemy have been spoken to me for so long that I have accepted them as truth. I struggle to see beauty in myself, both outer beauty and inner beauty. 

I know that there are countless women just like me who fail to see the Beauty of the Creator in themselves.  We listen to the lies. We accept them as truth. We question the creation of our Creator, who made us exactly how He wanted us to be.

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,
    “You did not make me”?
Can the pot say to the potter,
    “You know nothing”?
Isaiah 29:16 (excerpt)

It is time to change that in myself.  It is time to shut down the lies and accept the real truth. 

I know that its a few days late for making resolutions, and I hate making them. So instead of making a resolution to change, how about saying a prayer today to bring change into our lives.  

If you are like me and you struggle to hear that you are beautiful. If you receive a compliment and then have a million lies telling you all of the other "horrible" things about yourself. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see. Will you pray this prayer with me today. 

Dear God
You are the maker of the universe. You are the creator of all that is beautiful in this world. Father, thank you for making me beautiful. Thank you for making me the way that I am, and for making me for your purpose. 
Today I ask that you would show me your Beauty. And show me your Beauty in me. Teach me to see myself as beautiful and perfectly made. Teach me to accept the way that you made me and to not question your creation. I am sorry for hating something that you love. 
God I ask that your love would pour over me and that I would feel an overwhelming love whenever I hear the lies of the enemy about myself. Deafen my ears to the hateful things that the enemy spews about me. And open the ears and the eyes of my heart to hear from you. 
Father I ask that you would break off the plans that the enemy has for me. Break away the lies that I have believed and plant new seeds of your love. 
Thank you for making me and loving me more than I could ever imagine.  
Amen. 

If you prayed that with me, make it your prayer for the day, the week, the month. Whatever it needs to be. Just pray that God pours his love out over you and breaks off the lies of the enemy. And then be prepared for a battle. 

When we become aware of the enemies attacks against us, when we fight back, he will push back harder.  He will spew so many lies, so much hatred against you and the Beauty that God created you with. You need to be prepared for a fight. 

Put on the belt of truth and hold onto the sword of the word of God. Read and find the words of the Fathers love that you can hold onto. Let Him speak to you and fill you with His truth.